dopamine betrayals and supply chain mermaids
unsnackable vol. 42
I spend a lot of time watching Instagram Reels. On a whole, they are mostly terrible. Facebook has decided to force both creators and brands to "pivot to video" in a clunkier format than the clock app by rewiring their algorithm into yet another content ouroboros. The appeal of reels lies within their failure.
TikTok is the only social platform I fear because the algorithm feeds you content that fires those lil' dopamine signals in your brain until it finds a way to serve you something that will ruin your day. You get stuck in a cycle of chasing something enjoyable enough to erase that betrayal and time disappears. With reels, the crude algorithm serves video without reason. It's rare to feel anything more than muted enjoyment of a reel but even rarer for a reel to summon a strong negative emotion.
I revel in that passive consumption. It's like a walled garden where my stress-borne emotional dysfunction and smooth brain can flourish. Right now my reels are serving me lots of Starbucks secret menu and drink hacks. The girls are down bad because most of them look pretty abhorrent but in a deeply captivating way.
To deploy a clunky comparison, the search for joyful novelty in American Starbucks customizations feels like watching reels. You might have an enjoyable moment but it is fleeting, muted, and the result of a product tested so intensely that it serves an invisible consensus.
Starbucks operates in 80 countries, with brand mythology that leans just as heavily on proximity to American culture as that mermaid on every cup. Still, a smaller supply chain and geographic footprint allow innovation to shine. Starbucks Japan's 25th Anniversary release of the 47 Jimoto Frappucino collection takes that concept to its logical extreme.
47 Frappuccino flavors, each created in partnership with local baristas and showcasing small-scale local ingredients with deep ties to each prefecture. They are all perfect and for this reason, I am finishing off this long weekend by ranking each of them in a deeply unscientific manner. And I'm doing it just for you because you're a paid subscriber and I appreciate your support of unsnackable.
an entirely inconclusive ranking of 47 frappuccinos from starbucks japan's jimoto series in order of how many times I whispered "fuck, that's so cool" when I was reading each drink's description and also how much they make me feel like there is a deep, unwavering void in my life.
The images have numbers and I'm ranking the beverages and giving them numbers. It is quite confusing but...it is a holiday weekend and my brain refused to solve that problem. The beverage components are below the photo, with occasional commentary in parentheses.
47.
TOTTORI Gaina Caramel Creamy Frappuccino® Blended Coffee
Coffee, caramel sauce, cream and ice is topped with whipped cream, more caramel sauce and glittering golden sugar
46.
FUKUSHIMA Irodori Fruits Dappai Frappuccino® Blended Juice Drink
Starbucks Mango Passion Tea with peach chunks topped with luscious whipped cream ( This one hurts me because I feel like I could make this at home, maybe I should make this at home?)
45.
KAGAWA Wasanbon Matcha Nishimai Frappuccino® Blended Cream
Wasanbon blended with ice, milk and white chocolate matcha sauce (Wasanbon is type of fine-grained sugar, often pressed into ornate sweets and I cannot abide by treating it like the stick from fun dip and blending it into a frapp)
44.
HYOGO Otonano Bari Choco Haitto Creamy Frappuccino® Blended Cream
Dark chocolate powder, chocolate chips and a drizzle of mocha sauce (Too much chocolate?)
43.
KUMAMOTO Zakuzaku Biscuit Bai & Chocolate Frappuccino® Blended Cream
Dark mocha powder, ice, non-fat milk and crunchy dark cocoa biscuits is topped with whipped cream, more dark cocoa biscuits and a drizzle of strawberry sauce ( Big Dairy Queen Treatzza Pizza energy with this one)
42.
AKITA Amajoppe Salted Caramel Frappuccino® Blended Cream
The famous mineral sea salts of the Oga Peninsula, blended with rich caramel sauce and a creamy base
41.
TOKYO Origin Coffee Jelly Caramel Frappuccino® Blended Coffee:
Coffee jelly made with Starbucks® Espresso Roast, ribbons of rich caramel sauce, and a creamy coffee base made with Starbucks® Tokyo Roast
40.
OITA Wakuwaku Kabosu Citrus Cha Frappuccino® Blended Juice Drink
Juice and pulp from the area’s iconic kabosu citrus, blended with ice and finished with whipped cream and honey
39.
HIROSHIMA Setouchi Lemon & Citrus Jakee Frappuccino® Blended Juice Drink
Setouchi lemons mixed with passion tea, whipped cream and honey
38.
KANAGAWA Summer Blue Frappuccino® Blended Cream
Butterfly pea tea syrup, a creamy base, and topped with whipped cream and citrus chunks ( Much like tiktok's favorite gin, the butterfly pea syrup neither adds nor detracts from this beverage)
37.
SAGA Chikatto Karikari Sugar & Chocolate Frappuccino® Blended Cream
Chocolatey base, white chocolate syrup and crunchy brown sugar
36.
MIYAZAKI Tege Kira-kira Hyuganatsu Frappuccino® Blended Juice Drink
Hyuganatsu citrus blended with ice and topped with mango sauce (I am bereft at the thought of all of the varieties of citrus that I have never tried on this list)
35.
OKAYAMA Dere Fruits Sunshine Frappuccino® Blended Juice Drink
A fruity citrus base and white mocha syrup, finished with a fluffy whipped cream topping ( White mocha is a drink customization standby in the states but I trust this version much more because citrus pulls out the fruity notes in coffee)
34.
FUKUOKA Yamecha Yaken Frappuccino® Blended Cream
Made with a blend of local Yame Tea, non-fat milk, white chocolate syrup and ice, then finished with whipped cream and matcha tea powder (One of the greatest failures of a life led by novelty is an inability to acknowledge how quality can impact an experience that seems rote. This may seem like a simple green tea frapp but it is made for and by residents of a prefecture known for their tea and likely tastes better than anything I have ever tasted.)
33.
TOCHIGI Raisama Pachipachi Chocolate Frappuccino® Blended Cream
Dark chocolate powder and mocha sauce, topped with cream and bright, tangy mango passion sauce ( This is inspired by the god of thunder, pounding drumbeats and summer festivals so it has acute EDM vibes that unfortunately have charmed me)
32.
SAITAMA Tasaitama Strawberry & Citrus Frappuccino® Blended Juice Drink
Strawberry sauce, a bright citrusy base and real yuzu peel (These novelty sprinkles said 🏳️⚧️ rights)
31.
KAGOSHIMA Chaippe Kuromitsu Frappuccino® Blended Cream
Brown sugar syrup, chocolate chips and milk, topped with whipped cream, matcha powder and another drizzle of brown sugar syrup (Brown sugar as a prevailing flavor seems overwhelming but consider, what if that is what makes it incredible)
30.
ISHIKAWA Iiji Bo Hojicha Frappuccino® Blended Cream
Made with local Kaga Bo Hojicha ( Hojicha has rich creamy flavors when it stands on its own, but in this frapp *transmission lost*)
29.
SHIMANE Creamy Matcha Coffee Goen Frappuccino® Blended Cream
Coffee is added to the base of this creamy matcha beverage, topped with whipped cream, matcha powder and silver sugar (Coffee and Matcha are a delicious pairing but a hard balance)
28.
WAKAYAMA Tsuremotenomora Mikan Citrus Frappuccino® Blended Cream
A blend of mikan juice, citrus pulp and non-fat milk (Sometimes your brain hits a point when there is no effective hyperbole leaving you nothing more than the hyper-sincerity of calling things "swell". Mikan is a mighty swell citrus)
27.
IWATE Menkoi Matcha & Goma Frappuccino® Blended Cream:
Black sesame sauce blended into a matcha green tea base, finished with a caramel sauce accent and brown sugar topping (This drink makes me think of how I recovered from the Jenna Lyons-era J.Crew color palate by forgetting how to pair army green with any colors other than white, tan/caramel and black despite the fact that it is also a neutral?)
26.
AOMORI Jawameku Apple Strawberry Frappuccino® Blended Cream
Apple and strawberry blended with milk ( This is an entirely emotional placement on this list)
25.
EHIME Sugoiken! Kiwi Fruit Frappuccino® Blended Cream:
A swirl of kiwi jam in a vanilla cream base topped with whipped cream (Kiwi, free from the constraints of being paired with strawberries, shines on a backdrop of vanilla cream)
24.
OSAKA Metcha Kudamon Frappuccino® Blended Cream
Banana, apple, peach and orange ( This is inspired by a Showa Era drink called "Mixed Juice" invented by a fruit shop owner who wanted to save overripe fruit by embracing "the spirit of deception" but I do not feel deceived by how delicious this sounds)
23.
MIE Isecha & Citrus Yani! Frappuccino® Blended Cream
A base of rich whipped cream, a layer of citrus fruits with real yuzu peel, and a top layer of creamy milk blended with local Ise tea. (I would like to join this delicious thruple of flavor)
22.
KYOTO Hannari Matcha Kinako Frappuccino® Blended Cream:
Kinako soybean powder and matcha green tea powder mixed into a creamy white chocolate base, topped with whipped cream and kinako topping.
21.
FUKUI Hoyahoya Komepon Matcha Frappuccino® Blended Cream:
A base of matcha green tea and white chocolate syrup with pieces of crunchy puffed rice (American rice krispies would not be able to hold their own against the richness of this beverage but the puffed rice of the Fukui prefecture is heartier, crunchier, and right at home)
20.
TOKUSHIMA Juicy Sudachi Citrus Yattosa Frappuccino® Blended Juice Drink
A blend of citrus pulp, sudachi juice and yuzu peel, topped with whipped cream
19.
NARA Naradewa Hojicha White Chocolate Frappuccino® Blended Cream
Notes of aromatic Hojicha combine with a creamy white chocolate base ( In my most stressful moments, I like to imagine myself as one of the friendly deer in Nara but this frapp looks to a calming tea porridge for inspiration for a beverage to help you reach a similar state)
18.
IBARAKI Melon Igappe Creamy Frappuccino® Blended Cream
A white chocolate honeydew melon sauce blended with a creamy base ( Americans love to hate melons but this is a pro-melon newsletter)
17.
SHIGA Biwablue Citrus Frappuccino® Blended Cream
A base of butterfly pea tea syrup blended with white chocolate cream, topped with citrus pulp and a dollop of whipped cream dusted with matcha green tea powder
16.
MIYAGI Datcha Zunda Matcha Frappuccino® Blended Cream
Made with a local favorite, zunda—sweetened mashed edamame—and matcha sauce, blended with a white chocolate cream base (Made from baby soybeans harvested early and set against the gentle white chocolate base, zunda is in boss baby mode here)
15.
YAMAGATA Sukidazu La France Frappuccino® Blended Juice Drink
Juice from the area’s iconic western pear, ice and pillows of snowy whipped cream topped with honey. ( Shout out to all the pear)
14.
GIFU Yaone Matcha Coffee Jelly Frappuccino® Blended Cream
Coffee jelly at the base, a cascading blend of matcha green tea and mocha powders swirled in cream, whipped cream topping dusted in matcha (There is so much going on but it is controlled chaos at its finest)
13.
NIIGATA Bakkaii Kakinotane Chocolate Frappuccino🄬 Blended Cream
Crispy rice crackers blended with chocoately mocha sauce and chocolate chips, topped with whipped cream. ( Sweet! Salty! Crunchy!)
12.
SHIZUOKA Mikan Citrus Darake Frappuccino® Blended Juice Drink
Blended ice, premium mikan citrus syrup, and white chocolate, a layer of citrus and a topping of whipped cream and matcha powder ( It is safe to say that in my personal corner of heaven, there will be a late 90s mall food court and this will be on the menu at the Orange Julius)
11.
CHIBA Nagomi Mitarashi Coffee Frappuccino® Blended Cream
A unique sauce blend of sweetened soy sauce and coffee, mixed with cream ( This drink channels Dango, a street food standby to create an umami-rich update to the usual sweet+salty pairing. )
10.
GUNMA Danbe Yogurt Mango Frappuccino® Blended Cream
Mango and passionfruit sauce with a creamy yogurty base (Like a cup of lassi on vacation at one of Gunma's famous onsen)
9.
AICHI Dera Umya Anko Coffee Frappuccino® Blended Coffee:
Coffee, sweet red bean paste sauce, chocolate chips and ice (The only thing I love more than toast is when toast becomes a beverage)
8.
KOCHI Ginger Citrus Yaki Frappuccino® Blended Cream
Ginger syrup, vanilla cream and citrus
7.
TOYAMA Marude Water Melon Cha Frappuccino🄬 Blended Juice Drink
Watermelon juice and passion tea, dollops of whipped cream and finished with mocha sauce and matcha green tea ( *weeps quietly*)
6.
YAMAGUCHI Kasanechoru Gomatcha Frappuccino® Blended Cream
Black sesame, matcha powder and whipped cream ( A little goth, like it has a weekend job at Hot Topic)
5.
NAGANO Maroyaka Apple Butter Caramel Frappuccino® Blended Cream
Layers of apple butter, rich caramel sauce, and cream ( I assume it tastes like the first fall day chilly enough to bust out the outfit that you copped at a deep discount in mid-april)
4.
NAGASAKI Castella Coffee Yan! Frappuccino® Blended Cream
Milk, ice and white chocolate syrup with castella cake soaked in a shot of Starbucks® Espresso Roast and finished with whipped cream, brown sugar and honey. ( I wish I could live inside this beverage, like Orange Blossom's caffeinated older cousin)
3.
OKINAWA Kari Chinsuko Vanilla Caramel Frappuccino® Blended Cream
Chinsuko shortbread biscuits with vanilla, milk and caramel sauce topped with whipped cream and crushed biscuits. (Chinsuko made an early appearance in unsnackable and I've been obsessed ever since)
2.
YAMANASHI Tete!! Grape White Chocolate Frappuccino® Blended Cream
Cream, delicious grape, and white chocolate sauce ( I am legally obligated to consume both purple beverages and any Japanese grape beverage, I couldn't walk past this if I tried)
1.
HOKKAIDO Tokibi Creamy Frappuccino® Blended Cream
Tokibi corn and fresh, creamy milk—blended with white chocolate syrup and finished with crunchy corn flakes. (Correctly placed at number one in the original, in my heart and back in the second unsnackable)
all images and product information via Starbucks
I’m still figuring this out, but hopefully, you enjoyed v.42 of unsnackable.
If you didn’t please don’t tell me, tell your friends to subscribe because they hopefully have better taste than you.
Think you’ll miss me before unsnackable v.43 comes to your inbox? follow me on other parts of the internet and tell me about what you’re snacking on
I’ll try any snack at least once, so don’t be shy if there is something you want to send me to try.
I like sending something nice to your inboxes for free every week, but if you’d like to support my snack related endeavors you can upgrade to a paid subscription for just $5/month, and you'll receive the next paid subscriber newsletter