Jiffy Pop popcorn makes me think of Drew Barrymore. Of Drew and that depressing caucasian bayang in the opening of SCREAM (1996). And about how the first season of the surprisingly perfect MTV adaptation of SCREAM (2015) thought Bella Thorne was an equivalent actress to cast for the opening scene, and how for a moment her career trajectory seemed like that was possible. Now, Zendaya is an Emmy award-winning actress and I'm afraid of watching the new episode of Euphoria because I fear that I am too emotionally fragile but Bella Thorne last made headlines because she joined and quit OnlyFans in a way that made life harder for sex workers who use the platform to earn a living.
All over snackstagram, the corner of insta where I spend my time recreationally and in service of all my unsnackable acolytes, snack importers from outside North America are advertising Jiffy Pop popcorn. There are plenty of other American snacks that they advertise and sell at markups of 400-700% but Jiffy Pop caught my eye because it is such a boring, borderline mediocre thing to spend so much money to get. It's not bad, but some snacks are only enjoyable by a measure of accessibility and proximity.
I think that is the other side of unsnackables. It's not just a yearning for the items, it is a yearning for accessibility and affordability. That is the reason why, despite my knowledge of possibly every snack box that ships to the US, I've never thrown down the money to subscribe. Not to say that I'm fully opposed to paying that markup, I'm happy to do so at the Turkish market where I sometimes stop and grab Gözleme and a soda like Uludag Gazoz on the way home from the farmers market or in Chinatown when I'm picking up rice and shisō.
While trying them will cost you more than a penny, I'm still excited to share some more unsnackables.
the unsnackables
sweet
BOCADITO CABSHA ACRILICO (Argentina)
I was captivated by the TikTok making the rounds a few months ago of a group of friends eating communion wafers as various snacks. The winner of their taste test was plain cheese, toaster oven Nachos, which seems like a boring snack to waste being sacrilege on. These chocolate covered and dulce de leche filled Argentinian bocaditos are made with a thin wafer shell similar to communion wafers. So similar that some recipes even call for communion wafers if you cannot get to a pastry store to buy the wafer shells
savory
マクドナルド グラコロ(Japan)
Some may call it a weakness, but I love the McRib. I even made a homemade version, bun and all, earlier in quar. McDonald's reintroduced the sandwich for the first time in years earlier this week so of course, I ordered one then suffered the dual indignity of trying to figure out what random doorway it was misdelivered to by wandering my street and hoping a neighbor wouldn't find me threatening enough to call the police on me and then of ordering McDonald's for delivery twice in 3 days. I like to think that somewhere in Japan, the elusive shrimp and macaroni croquette Gracoro burger has the same type of following. It's a seasonal, polarizing offering, and my upbringing in the miraculous land of hotdish (Minnesota) makes me more amenable to trying it than I should be.
thirsty
可口可乐生姜+ (China)
The cold remedy turned diner standby of boiled coke with ginger and lemon isn't as weird to me as much as it makes me sad that it wasn't the home remedy that my mom relied on when I caught a cold as a kid. We were a Vicks vapo-rub household, a "have as many spoonfuls of goat pepper soup" as you can handle household, a "no you can't have Sprite the Pedialyte works better" household. While goat pepper soup is the Nigerian food, I order the most often ( and the one that most makes me consider buying a pressure cooker so I can cook the goat properly) and I've used Pedialyte to prevent/heal from every hangover I've rightfully earned since college, I will still try to recreate this beverage with coke, micro-planed ginger, and lemon slices. I also have to share that I saw an infographic that said the bottle is made to be heated to 120 degrees and I do not understand the logistics of that.
boozy
FUNNY PISANG( NETHERLANDS)
I think a non-alcoholic fruit liqueur is essentially just a squash/cordial, but this banana citrus flavor seems like the perfect thing to add to lemonade on a summer day. Too bad summer is just a fake concept marketed to us so we can pretend to have a reason to keep up our capitalistic output through the winter.
unsnackableIRL
I'm incredibly psyched to be collaborating with my friend Alyssa and her virtual sake club pop-up, The Koji Club. I developed a recipe for a cake using the sake kasu (the fermented sake brewing discards) from Kato Sake Works, and Alyssa picked two bottles of sake to pair with the cake. The cake is inspired by unsnackable japanese sponge and castella cakes. You can pick up the sake kit in Boston, Somerville, and Brooklyn then join the club meeting via zoom. Learn more about Koji Club and check out my recipe for Sake Kasu Cake with Orange Blossom Sugar and Ginger Whipped Cream on The Koji Club's blog.
I’m still figuring this out, but hopefully, you enjoyed v.13 of unsnackable.
If you didn’t please don’t tell me, tell your friends to subscribe because they hopefully have better taste than you.
Think you’ll miss me before unsnackable v.14 comes to your inbox? follow me on other parts of the internet and tell me about what you’re snacking on or tell me which movie moments have unsnackable energy
I’ll try any snack at least once, so don’t be shy if there is something you want to send me to try.
I think there has been a lot more discussion about substack as a platform lately and I’ve considered shifting this newsletter to a paid subscription (because I do spend a lot of time researching snacks!) but I like sending something nice to your inboxes for free every week, so if you’d like to support my snack related endeavors you can find me on venmo at thefolu or on paypal