dulcet gruel whispers and condiment cusine collaboration
unsnackable vol. 72
I don't think I'm habitual enough to be considered a successful adult. Repulsed by the echoes of the grindset-girlboss culture of my formative years, I start my day by pressing *random* on the productivity-agnostic character generator in my head before I even open my eyes. Routine makes it too easy to dissociate, to lose time to steps taken without thinking. Maybe there are dividends to be sought in a life of lost time but I'm happiest when I wake up early enough to retain a solid interval to fuck around before acknowledging the day ahead.
It is a lifestyle that works perfectly if I am the only steward of my time, which I am not. There is work, friends, family, the malaise that sets in if I don't immediately open my blinds when I wake up, trying to remember more than 6 words of a TikTok trending audio stuck in my head, my pillow/duvet configuration, the bulletin about our fire alarms being tested at 8 AM tomorrow, the insta algorithm deciding the gift me with a new lil’ mammalian guy from the dog/rodent/pig/bear diaspora to fall in love with (idk what he is but I'd die for him ), alongside other manifestations of haters praying for my downfall and ephemera to divert my attention.
When I am in disarray and have succumbed to my worst instincts and distractions for too many days in a row, nothing sets me on the right path like a gussied-up bowl of peasant mush. Something that asks "Capitalism may have elevated me from serfdom but am I truly free?" It works every single time.
The sweet gruel is always old-fashioned oats, steamed into fluffy individual grains and occasionally infused with aromatics while cooking. The savory gruel is always grits, eaten in midafternoon after bouts of prep and setting aside enough time to stir in enough dairy to ensure creaminess. Maximalist toppings are the default, not the outlier.
After Thanksgiving, I set aside my longstanding tradition of a leftovers grilled cheese sandwich (despite baking bread for the sandwich earlier in the week) to compose an emotionally restorative bowl of Thanksgiving Leftovers grits. The base is cheddar-muenster grits, the toppings are roasted butternut squash, bacon, herb and pancetta turkey breast roulade diced and heated up in the bacon fat, a quick brown sugar cranberry relish, fried sage, and chili crisp. Granted many of the ingredients were my *own* leftovers and not from the holiday but I was trying to make a train and only usurped turkey to bring hom
Please enjoy these additional odes to my gruel-pilled lifestyle:
parmigiano cream grits, cherry tomatoes, crispy oyster mushrooms, lamb sausage, balsamic drizzle, pepper flakes
toasted oats, whipped ricotta, mango, basil oil, cracked black pepper
pimento cheese grits, fried egg, bacon bits, green onion, jammy bacon fat cherry tomatoes
oolong tea steeped oats, brown sugar macerated kiwi, unsweetened ginger whipped cream, fresh mint, oolong tea powder
parmesan + fontina grits, miso kale, sesame oil roasted cherry tomatoes, gochujang glazed pork belly, green onion
carrot cake oats (grated carrot,vanilla bean paste,ginger, cinnamon,slivered almonds), white pepper mascarpone cream, pistachio butter, toasted coconut
brown butter grits, fried egg, lamb bacon, roasted butternut squash, green onion, tomato fennel broth, manchego
There are no recipes for the bowls above, just listen with your heart and the dulcet gruel whispers will show you the way. It was their comforting tones that primed me to dish up this fresh batch of unsnackables.
the unsnackables
sweet
The Japanese snackosphere is abuzz with talk of Lawson's new, cursed launch of a mayo-flavored beverage that would have earned a place in this newsletter if every single review I had seen wasn't entirely repulsed (I can't fight the impact of a midwestern upbringing and the regret I feel about never trying this Butter beverage during my last trip to Japan) but if I am going to direct my yearning towards a condiment cuisine collaboration, this ice cream bar inspired by butter, honey, parsley, and mascarpone flavored Calbee potato chips seems much more deserving. The chips are named after the word for a feeling of long-term contentedness and I believe trying this ice cream could deliver that feeling into my life.
savory
As an avid reader of the footy scran Twitter account, I am often forced to keep my feelings of envy about stadium food in other nations at bay. I'm glad I had some practice because encountering these cheese puff textured snacks flavored like common stadium fare currywurst made my eyes pop out of my head like a cartoon wolf.
thirsty
I'm not immune to the slippery charms of the tiny, perfect Moo Deng but rankle at the widespread commercialization of her image without any hint of love. To this day, I still call Fiona my beautiful daughter because I followed her journey from the day she was born and often cried about how much of a gift she is to this planet. Granted I was probably suffering from a subset of cute aggression (cute psychosis?) but I need to feel a bit more sincerity and innovation in the adoration! Like this nail polish! Like my friend Kirbie's perfect (insane) Halloween costume. Like this Thai chain making rose tea and coffee beverage.
boozy
Once the temperature drops to the mid-forties I can feel myself physically craving the experience of topping off a hot beverage in a disposable cup with a tipple of booze. This sorghum Baiju latte is a much fancier experience but I wish I could do it all the same because there is nothing better than a beverage that exists as a tacit acknowledgment that you consume it when you are cold as hell.
I’m still figuring this out, but hopefully, you enjoyed v.72 of unsnackable.
If you didn’t please don’t tell me, tell your friends to subscribe because they hopefully have better taste than you.
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Blown off the culinary planet by your ongoing inquisitive musings; once again....
You are SO gifted. Thank you for sharing your magical talent (you turn a phrase like none other!!) with your crew. Really love to read anything you write. 💫