I don't like to think I am someone who moralizes the things that bring me joy in life. I don't have guilty pleasures because I come to the emotion of guilt too naturally. If I fall into watching an Australian teen drama about a prestigious dance academy, I will not hide that from my friends when they ask what show to watch. I will shed a single tear when I think about the emotional climax of the show and tell them to watch it with my whole fucking chest.
One thing I will admit to is keeping a running calculus of risk. No one is great with disappointment, but I feel a visceral sorrow when I buy food that disappoints me. I can never place the source of that feeling. Is it a residual "there's rice at home" or the fun adult version "things taste better when you work for them" that appeared when I became a better cook? All I know is that when I tried the disappointing 2020 reboot of dunkaroos, my first impulse (after I cried) was to spend an entire week developing a recipe for homemade dunkaroos.
brown sugar cinnamon graham cookies, double vanilla funfetti buttercream (recipe here)
There’s no natural transition to bring this up but I’m enthralled by the terse resolution of this niche internet community beef, featuring snack bloggers on multiple continents. A custom-made white Nutella variation and "fake news" all come into play.
Okay, we can put the beef aside and get to this week's unsnackables.
the unsnackables
sweet
コ入りホットケーキまん (Japan)
I've had so many forms of Japanese pancakes. I've had them in full instagrammable glory in Japan, I've made them myself, I've even had konbini shelf-stable pancakes smuggled in luggage and saved in the freezer for an emergency. But I've never had this hybrid of a Chinese steamed bun and a pancake, and that is a damn shame.
savory
MARMITE CHEESE SLICES (U.K.)
It may lack the striking charm of smack barm pey wet, but I know a rarebit or even just cheese and crackers with this marmite cheese probably bangs. I don’t even know if American crackers are the same as crackers in the U.K.
PÃO DE QUEIJO FORNO DE MINAS (Brazil)
I love Pão de Queijo. It's a snack that runs on cheese essence and pure vibes. Taking that perfection and turning it into a savory waffle that begs to be turned into a breakfast sandwich is so powerful. Pure hangover kryptonite.
thirsty
CAPRI SUN & BUBBLES (Germany)
When I think about Capri Sun in a can, I can't help but shed a tear for the dearly departed Island Refreshers. What a beautiful beverage. The sound of cracking open the seal on that bottle could wake me from a catatonic state. The island refreshers weren't carbonated, but bubbles never make a beverage worse. Well, milk, but we've already established that I consider drinking milk as an adult to be a sign of weak moral character
boozy
BLOSSA 20 MYNTATHÉ (Sweden)
The sun is setting earlier, and I slip into a slight panic when I plan for the months ahead. I'm stocking up on heattech and trying to plan warm drinks for socially distant hangs. I realize that I fucked up by not bringing this energy to summer, but this pandemic isn't ending soon. This Morrocan inspired mulled wine with green tea and mint sounds incredible and would be a perfect beverage to keep nice and toasty in my Zojirushi.
I’m still figuring this out, but hopefully, you enjoyed v.6 of unsnackable.
If you didn’t please don’t tell me, tell your friends to subscribe because they hopefully have better taste than you.
Think you’ll miss me before unsnackable v.7 comes to your inbox? follow me on other parts of the internet and tell me about what you’re snacking on or tell me about what you’re snacking on during your socially distant hangouts.
I’ll try any snack at least once, so don’t be shy if there is something you want to send me to try.
If you’d like to support my snack related endeavors you can find me on venmo at thefolu