egg ick collusion and swole goldfish cookies
unsnackable vol. 68
For the last few months, I've been trying to manage a chronic case of egg ick. Whenever I turn to them in moments of laziness or as a shortcut, they turn against me like they resent not being held in higher esteem. I'll top a salad with a fried egg to balance the acid of a simple vinaigrette, then look down when I'm finished to a plate with a few stray greens with most of the egg white tucked behind.
I haven't converted to an egg-free lifestyle, there is almost always a carton in my fridge, but that lockdown mindset that considers them to be a luxury has been hard to shake. The market conditions that caused the scarcity might have been illegally enforced but I try my best to embrace anything that nudges my brain away from the impulse to consume or cook mindlessly.
I should be annoyed to lose a low-effort staple, but I've gained a high-effort canvas.
I think my Instagram algo is fixated on eggs as well. I went deep on Ovos de Pascoa, the Brazilian tradition of eating comically large chocolate eggs during Easter, before including one from Outback Steakhouse in unsnackable vol. 29 back in 2021. Every year since then, my feed has been flooded with posts with eggs of the homemade, chocolatier, and branded varieties every March. I thought I would share a few notable ones with you.
There is an entire cottage confectionary industry in the US right now built on the conceit that grapes are a good base for candy. That, combined with discovering grapes are a common filling for brigadeiros gives me more faith in these than my original reaction to the combination. Also ovo de uva is fun to say.
I don’t need additional encouragement to be appreciate the combination of fleur de sel and apricot jam, but this egg is from a company that only sells products that contain apricots. I trust expertise
We're a bit further into "hear me out" territory but Fini makes some of the best gummy candy in the game. The dentaduras variety that this egg is based on walks a line between bubblegum and berry flavors with a springy texture. I am not sure that bubblegum berry condensed milk cream is a good idea, but I am sure that it is an intriguing one.
I don't think that this pistachio-hued Instagram bait bakery invented the idea of a flan-topped Ovo de Pascoa but they had the best pictures online and Britney Spears once made them go viral so they earned inclusion by association.
This may have been a long intro, but don't worry I'm just egging you on before jumping into a freshly cracked set of unsnackables.
the unsnackables
sweet
For some reason, I find it romantic and inspiring to see Hi-Chew making these neutrally flavored candies (essentially the middle of a normal Hi-Chew) because it is almost like an endorsement of embracing and sharing your interiority. For y'all though, not me. Be easy
savory
In the same way that a scone is not a biscuit despite sharing ingredients (the ingredient ratios are different, and the preparation has different steps) a savory cookie is not a cracker. I love that some of these golden cookies studded with aromatics look like swole goldfish.
thirsty
I've never tried Indian 7up but another Indian citrus soda, Limca, is one of my favorite beverages. A bubbly base of piquant citrus and just enough sweetness may be the best choice for a soda regardless of where you are in the world. Adding spices for a flavor you can taste with every part of your tongue seems like a no-fail proposition. Even i’ve learned from other masala sodas i’ve tried that the flavor is disorientingly different than what you expect from a drink.
boozy
I was drawn to this because the packaging reminds me of my (very millennial) adolescent fascination with Rasputin and of this TikTok account that reveals the letters hidden in the stylized typography of metal logos. It is in the newsletter because it is flavored with pine nuts, pine needles, and honey and that sounds delicious. Maybe it could make me (mostly) invincible if I drank enough.
I’m still figuring this out, but hopefully, you enjoyed v.68 of unsnackable.
If you didn’t please don’t tell me, tell your friends to subscribe because they hopefully have better taste than you.
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