I've been trying to figure out if I still know how to drive. I know they say it's like riding a bike, but I genuinely do not know the last time my feet slid into pedals that were not stationary. The last time I drove was the last time I saw most of my family- in December 2019.
The next time I drive, I'll be back in Minnesota visiting my parents and staying in a home that is firmly theirs, hoping to leave something of myself so it won't always feel so foreign. I'll sit behind the wheel of one of their cars to run a menial errand and rely on muscle memory. The muscles I'll rely on to drive will be in a body that has kept score of a lifetime of police violence. And more viscerally, the names and footage of the lives that were extinguished so close to the neighborhoods where I grew into myself.
In blackness, there is beauty and triumph, but there is a weight of maintaining the mental boundaries that get you through the day. That weight doesn't fall on all of us evenly, but you do what you can to survive.
I could have said "this week felt especially heavy" 52 times in the last year, but this week I felt lucky to find a bit of inspiration and respite in one of my favorite people and the US release of her beautiful collection of short stories.
lemon zest sponge, kiwi ginger compote, berry mezcal cream, smoked brown sugar swiss buttercream
Marie Antoinette may have never said "Let them eat cake" but we can't eat these snacks either and we are living through the historic downfall of an empire, so it's a similar vibe with this week's unsnackables
SWEET GRANATAPFEL BLAUBEERE HANF (Germany)
The generational ire directed at avocado toast, which is actually quite delicious/filling/affordable to make at home, should land on smoothie bowls. Those aesthetically pleasing abominations aren't made for people who respect bowls OR smoothies. But somehow this double entendre of a "bowl" inspired candy bar with cocoa, blueberry, pomegranate, and hemp has charmed me into wanting to try it.
KNABBER NOSSI PAUSENWRAP(Austria)
I respect jerky and the category of cured snack meats, but I'm only a few years into my exploration of the full breadth. Growing up our jerky was a rare treat of stew beef sliced thin, seasoned with suya spice, and roasted slowly in the oven until it was savory and chewy. But I imagine that if I was a traditional jerky child, this cured sausage tucked into a cozy flatbread would never disappoint me if I found it in my lunch box.
If I gave a voice to my sleep demon, the first sound that would come out of its mouth would be "HY-A-LU-RONIC ACID, HyaluronicAcid" in Eva Longoria's voice. She has taken residence in my psyche even though that space in my brain should be owned by the Hadalabo Gokujun Hyaluronic Lotion that keeps me beautiful and dewy in the summer. I don't actually think this drinkable hyaluronic acid beauty beverage would have the same impact, but at least the lemon geranium flavor sounds sippable.
ZEPPI HARRUBA (Malta)
I love being forced to reconsider the way my brain categorizes food or an ingredient. Carob sits firmly as a hippie standby but it grows in multitudes in Malta, making it a prime candidate to be turned into a liqueur. The result is a sweet apéritif with toasted flavors similar to cocoa and a twist of orange to bring it all together.
I’m still figuring this out, but hopefully, you enjoyed v.32 of unsnackable.
If you didn’t please don’t tell me, tell your friends to subscribe because they hopefully have better taste than you.
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I’ll try any snack at least once, so don’t be shy if there is something you want to send me to try.
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(To be transparent, I feel very bad about this newsletter still being on substack but I am still working on finding it a new home and I do truly believe that if I take a break from sending this out every week, it will become exponentially harder to pick up where I left off)