I’m lucky to have reached this point of the pandemic with brain cells left. Not many but there are a few that I can call upon if it is a special occasion. Unfortunately, one of those brain cells is out of commission because it is owned by a Russian cereal jingle and this llama.
Yes, I am talking about Miel Pops (zhu zhu zhu), a 2010 cereal jingle that blew up on TikTok over the summer and haunts my every thought. The mental reign of terror got worse when I found out that Miel Pops are good? Really good? Someone on twitter described them to me as “like honey nut cheerios and kix had a baby that got the best characteristic from each parent. Never got too soggy and had enough flavor, ” What the fuck? That’s essentially a perfect cereal.
Personally, I find it endearing that those saucy bees waited a decade to grab a TikTok hit. Kinda like how k-pop idol turned rapper Kris Wu waited three years to flip his embarrassing freestyle about noodles into a certified banger with a very cute music video. Big Bowl Thick Noodle is vying for one of my remaining brain cells and making me consider ordering noodles for dinner tonight.
Instead of doing that, let's talk about this week's unsnackables.
the unsnackables
sweet
ชิมมะ | ข้าวเหนียวมะม่วงพร้อมดิปกะทิ 50 กรัม (Thailand)
As a millennial, it is unsurprising that any packaged snack that requires me to dip a dry snack into a sweet dip would catch my attention. I was raised on Dunkaroos. This snack takes the recognizable flavors of mango sticky rice and flips the textures by dehydrating the mango and rice into crunchy dippable bites.
SUPER DICKMANN'S VANILLEGESCHMACK MOUSSE (Germany)
From the very depths of my soul, I hate how a product with such a terrible name is living rent-free in my brain. It's embarrassing to desire pleasure from something that feels like it exists just to mock you. To be fair, I have similar feelings about America. This snack is a wafer topped with a creamy pudding mousse covered in white chocolate and unfortunately I want it.
savory
THE GOLDEN DUCK SALTED EGG FISH SKIN (Singapore)
If my instincts are right, we're a year or two out from Fish Skin chips hitting the trendy snack threshold in the states. I'm not sure which trendy diet they will fit the requirements of, but I have hopes they'll find the correct niche. For now, I can just crave the umami bomb of curry leaves, fish skin, and salted egg yolk powder.
thirsty
MIRINDA WATERMELON OR CANTALOUPE (Egypt)
I love indecision. Most people consider it to be a weakness, but a multinational soda brand like Mirinda spending money to develop and launch a new flavor and failing to decide which flavor it tastes like? That is catnip to me! It doesn't matter that melon flavored sodas all taste similar because they have given me the power to pick which melon I taste.
boozy
TOPO CHICO HARD SELTZER ( Latin America)
I've been following the saga of Coke's second attempt at launching an alcoholic beverage (they launched a chuhai in japan last year) pretty closely because I'm incredibly curious. Most boozy seltzers are *fine* at best, so I guess this is leaning into morbid curiosity. Topo Hard is rolling out in Latin America this fall and presumably in the US soon after that in 2021. But thinking that far ahead is a dangerous game so these are still pretty inaccessible to me.
I’m still figuring this out, but hopefully, you enjoyed v.3 of unsnackable.
If you didn’t please don’t tell me, tell your friends to subscribe because they hopefully have better taste than you.
Think you’ll miss me before unsnackable v.4 comes to your inbox? follow me on other parts of the internet and tell me about what you’re snacking on or tell me if you think it is watermelon or cantaloupe.
I’ll try any snack at least once, so don’t be shy if there is something you want to send me to try.