rare sheep merch proxies and transformative ketchup power
unsnackable vol. 71
There's a small window of time when the wind only has enough bluster to sweep a few petals from the blossoms coaxed out on days 30 degrees colder when the sun rises. Somehow it makes me feel alive despite my seasonal allergies pushing me to the brink of death each time I breathe raw air. I'm constantly overdressed, underdressed, and sniffing out pockets of sun like a reptile hoping to raise my body temperature high enough to function.
There's more time to do nothing because I wake up when the colors of dusk still linger in the corners of the sky, but still not enough time for everything. I make two checklists each day, one to get me through my workday and one to get me through my own day and go to sleep knowing there are boxes left unchecked on both.
I crave peak spring and summer produce that requires little work to enjoy but cope when I jump the gun through waste-averse defensive maneuvers and employ my oven with the knowledge that it will eventually be too hot to rely on.
I grabbed Pineberries that promised pineapple and apricot notes, instead they held onto a bit of bracing tartness from being plucked too early. They paired well with a matcha whipped cream for an afternoon snack.
I threw the leftover berries in the freezer, then retrieved them a week later to make a pineberry rose jam. It hadn't even set when I toasted a slice of smoked maple milk bread (made with Eric Kim's recipe, also from my freezer) and topped it with some salted butter, the pineberry rose jam, microplaned pistachio, and dried rose petals.
I leave a little jam in the pot, scrape in the scraps from my sieve, then top it all with sugar and water to make a simple syrup for the fancy drinks that make my life worth living. In this case, a hojicha oat iced latte. Oat milk is passe but the stable cold froth of Oatly barista is irreplaceable (both in texture and in its ability to hold up to the sordid business of ~drink content~)
I know it doesn't seem surprising for two berry colas to echo the same form of simulacrum but Wild Cherry Pepsi and Cherry Coke are spiritual opposites. So I was surprised! Not shaken but I will be thinking about it for a long time and I hope you will feel the same way about this assortment of unsnackables.
the unsnackables
sweet
Snacks that make it into this newsletter are here because I want to try them. Varying probabilities dictate how likely I am to enjoy the snacks but the curiosity (and frankly the yearning) are the same across the board. I try to avoid low-hanging fruit but the desire overrides my logic when there's something like a Haribo variety based on three types of bitter fruity highballs. These feel like a cousin of the Almdudler Haribo that I've let sit in dozens of euro import store shopping carts over the last few years ( it was in the SECOND unsnackable back in 2020!) but haven't bought. It is somehow better because instead of just one bittersweet lemonade flavor, there is bitter lemon, orange, and wildberry.
savory
I've softened my anti-ketchup stance as I've aged, knowing that it is likely a sign of moral decay (or spiritual kinship with Chicagoans which might be the same thing) to think it isn't a condiment that belongs on hot dog. Two things have led to that evolution- ketchup chips and trying ketchup from different parts of the world. These jalapeño ketchup chips show the transformative power of both.
thirsty
Like for any baker, Instagram is a fount of inspiration but there is a particular roster of bakeries, cafes, and cottage popups around the world that I keep a close eye on because they inspire me and I'd consider employing an international shipping proxy if they ever dropped merch. Bake Till We Die sits very high on that list because it has a great name and a logo that appears to be a Valais Blacknose sheep in a hat eating some toast and vibing with a goose that is kitted out in a backward cap and carrying a cup of coffee. Their pastries tend to send me deep into rabbit holes of research and notesapp scribbles for later experiments of my own. They posted a Lod Chong cake with coconut sugar sponge a few weeks ago and I'm livid I will never get to try it. I also will never get to drink this Lod Chong beverage that replaces the rice noodles of the original dessert with pandan-infused konjac noodles but I'm glad the cake led me to it.
boozy
If Canelazo is an alcoholic beverage built to withstand the rigors of the Andes, this blackberry riff might be what I need to cope with the fact that my phone keeps pinging me about freeze warnings on days warm enough for me to sit outside in a t-shirt at lunchtime. I refuse to turn my heat back on and my winter comforter is in a bag waiting for me to lug to a laundromat with an extra-large machine, I need this.
I’m still figuring this out, but hopefully, you enjoyed v.71 of unsnackable.
If you didn’t please don’t tell me, tell your friends to subscribe because they hopefully have better taste than you.
Think you’ll miss me before unsnackable v.72 comes to your inbox? follow me on other parts of the internet and tell me about what you’re snacking on