There is nothing more vulgar to me than the appearance of ease. I love effort; I love the entrapments of beauty even when they err towards a burden. This has been a year steeped in the bare minimum, but I still try to find time to sit in front of my open window and take selfies when the light is good enough to erase my pores. I will make it through the panoramic with a full grasp of my angles, even if I do not have a full grasp of my sanity.
Yet I can never follow through with the exercise of picking a signature scent. I use Stridex wipes as a deodorant to create a blank slate and move through life uncommitted. The last time I truly desired a perfume was as an adolescent hoping to level up from Victoria's Secret Strawberries & Champagne ( I was *not* a Lovespell girl) to Aquolina Pink Sugar. Those saccharine scents probably aren’t too far from the Limited Edition McFlurry Body Wash that McDonald's Germany was giving out earlier this week.
Since every review I found (and watched) was in German, I can't tell you how showering in a steamy mist of McFlurry feels. It's just another reason to put your imagination to work and get ready for some new unsnackables
the unsnackables
sweet
ЛУКУМ СБИВНОЙ. РУЛЕТ СО ВКУСОМ ВИШНИ (Russia)
As an American, it has become cliche to talk about how The Chronicles of Narnia sets you up to be disappointed when you finally try Turkish Delight. But much like what passes as "chocolate" in this faltering nation cannot be taken as a categorical example, most Americans have no experience with the wide range of sweets that are called Turkish Delight. This variety combines cherry with a whipped confection similar to marshmallow and a dusting of coconut. They're probably worth the legend spun in their honor.
savory
ALL DRESSED NUGGETS (Canada)
Even though every restaurant and fast-food chain calls embellished mayo a "secret sauce", it takes more than knowing the ingredients to strike the perfect balance required to turn haphazard flavors into magic. The flavor of the Canadian staple, All Dressed chips, is the same. Barbecue, ketchup, sour cream and onion, and salt and vinegar are thrown together and somehow find harmony. It is an addictive flavor combination and I wonder if it would work as well on Burger King nuggets as it does on chips.
thirsty
TORKU YEŞIL ŞERBET (Turkey)
My biggest snacking realization of quar is that rainbow sherbet is my desert island ice cream flavor. This year I gambled on artisan tubs and layered gelato, but none of them brought me as much satisfaction as sherbet. I also love the word sherbet because it has such wildly different snack etymology in different parts of the world. In the states, it is creamy, fruity, and frozen. In the UK is an effervescent candy powder. But it can also be a sweet, syrupy beverage similar to a cordial or a shrub. Orange juice, lemon juice, cinnamon, cloves, green apple, and mint for flavor, and the glowing ecto-cooler shade of green made me crave a glass.
boozy
AALBORG BASIS ( Denmark)
I would like to thank the bag of saf-instant yeast I chucked in my freezer before the lockdown was even a twinkle in our eyes for saving me from having to pretend that I have the temperament to handle a sourdough starter. I would much rather use that energy to brew up a customized schnapps with this neutral base spirit and a bit of time. This distillery makes richly flavored Akvavit and Snaps, but you're in control of which path you want the flavor to take. Low risk with the possibility of a big reward.
unsnackableIRL
Frigeo Ahoj Brause (Germany) -Like a fizzy Pez with a softer texture, I ate so many of these that my tongue started to hurt.
(I had every intention of writing out the recipe for the black sesame and blood orange zest marbled shortbread I included in last weeks unsnackable but I watched Meghan and Oprah instead of doing that so….next week?)
I’m still figuring this out, but hopefully, you enjoyed v.26 of unsnackable.
If you didn’t please don’t tell me, tell your friends to subscribe because they hopefully have better taste than you.
Think you’ll miss me before unsnackable v.27 comes to your inbox? follow me on other parts of the internet and tell me about what you’re snacking on or tell me (hold text)
I’ll try any snack at least once, so don’t be shy if there is something you want to send me to try.
I think there has been a lot more discussion about substack as a platform lately and I’ve considered shifting this newsletter to a paid subscription (because I do spend a lot of time researching snacks!) but I like sending something nice to your inboxes for free every week, so if you’d like to support my snack related endeavors you can find me on venmo at thefolu or on paypal