shoe scented gummies and mayo motivated meals
unsnackable vol. 76
In the grand taxonomy of kitchens, the wayward eye cast towards the "ingredient kitchen" feels unearned and oversimplified. What is a kitchen without the staples that help you tweak every meal to feel like your own, whether from scratch or straight from a takeout box?
I have never had to resort to eating chocolate chips as a dessert because I always keep portioned cookie dough in my freezer. Still, I occasionally panic at the thought of pulling a meal from my stocked pantry. Lately, the escape from that feeling is to plan my meals for the week with a sauce-first approach.
Slip a bit of saucier cosplay into my weekly prep, and I suddenly feel capable of feeding myself. Chaotically, the sauce I have been riffing on the most is mayo, usually a double-yolk version of this recipe paired with an aromatic that guides my meals for the week. No different than begging a teacher for guidance on a "choose-your-own topic" writing assignment, my creativity kicks into gear faster when I don't have to choose a starting point.
I started with a preserved lemon double yolk mayo and it found a home in the following:
As the creamy element on a bao platter with scallions, radish, cukes, and katsu made with wasabi rice crackers because I ran out of panko.
As the base of a pizza-flavored-ranch dressing inspired by a salad kit I got a few months ago (the key is caramelized tomato paste and a lot of fresh dill), and a salad made with romaine, focaccia croutons, banana peppers, radish, parm, crispy soppressata, artichoke hearts.
To punch up the whipped feta in my snap pea salad and pair with dill oil, orange zest, and black sesame.
Mayo as inspiration, how deeply midwestern of me. It never hurts to return to your roots, just like me spending far too long scouring the world wide web to find you a new assortment of unsnackables.
the unsnackables
sweet
I'm baffled and intrigued by snacks on a nearly constant basis in writing this newsletter, but few things have set me on a loop of asking "What do you mean???" like this video exclaiming that these gummies smell "Identical to Melissa". If you didn't know, Melissa is a Brazilian brand known for their jelly-style shoes. Why would you be amazed by candy that smells like shoes???!?? Despite coveting many of the brand's collaborations over the years I've never owned a pair because they tend to stop at size 10 (the size I grew out of the summer after 5th grade), so I was not familiar with the signature tutti frutti scent they imbue into the polyurethane of their signature jellied footwear. I'm not sure if that would enhance or detract from the experience of eating the candy but it is a helluva approach for a fashion brand to use to make something consumable.
savory
On the face of it, I'm probably supposed to be offended by this Polish peanut snack that uses a tagine to illustrate the flavors of "Africa" broadly coalesced without a singular source or inspiration. Instead, I'm curious because of the echoes of snacks I grew up on in a puffed peanut snack that (unlike the similar white-labeled Trader Joe's version) isn't manufactured on illegally occupied land. Okay, yes. Still a little offended too.
thirsty
Instead of brands working so hard to maintain an online presence personified by snark, I wish more would follow the footsteps of this Papua New Guinean energy drink and throw a 2000s lightning motif next to a simple tagline (Taste the energy). Maybe run a rugby passing drill promotion at the National Stadium in support of the Kumuls (The National team affectionately known as the Birds of Paradise). Simple, and doesn't require a 14-month wait on Legal's approval to use the word "cheugy".
boozy
Society has moved past the point of viewing hobbies as something that should become a job, but I still think there is value in throwing some structure at anything that occupies your leisure time to see where it will lead you. That is why we spent a weekend in NYC last fall taking a course to become Certified Sake Advisers, and I took a proctored exam that required me to study for the first time in a decade ( I accidentally paid for a quizlet membership and became an iPad note-taking girly type of studying). All to say I spend a lot of time drinking sake and even more time thinking about it. About bottles I have tasted but know might taste entirely different the next year based on the rice harvest, bottles I tried once but have never made it to an American importer (like this slightly abrasive but intriguing one with a perfect 90s logo that nearly took me out after a LONG night of drinking in Nagoya) and most importantly the bottles I might never try. Many of those cannot be called sake by the legal Japanese classification, but are made by a brand called Kurand that works with small Sake Breweries to make unique limited-run craft alcohol. I want to try nearly every bottle they post. They are finally earning a place in this newsletter with a collaboration with another one of my long-runnning obsessions, a chocolatier called Qrazy Chocolate. Qrazy introduces new additions to their line with adorably off-putting stop-motion animations of animal characters on adventures gone awry that would fit perfectly in an episode of KaBlam. This bottle is inspired by a carnivorous intergalactic ray and has a jellied texture that is terrifying when poured from the bottle but would taste great over ice cream.
I’m still figuring this out, but hopefully, you enjoyed v.76 of unsnackable.
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wasabi rice cracker crust is inspiring
First, thank you so much for these amazing reviews. Always delightful!
Second, I misread "Certified Sake Advisors" as "Certified SNAKE Advisors" and was so confused 😜