uniqlo cup noodles and 130% juice

unsnackable vol. 20

I'm a year older and I made it through the week mostly unscathed. Of course, my emotional Overton window has shifted to where that isn't much of an achievement, but I'll take it. My birthday was on the 20th, this is the 20th unsnackable. Is this my "golden" newsletter?

It would be nice to lean on a witty quip to disguise my surprise that I've made it this far but the millennial impulse to litigate school-age critiques to justify a lack of adult productivity is deeply embarrassing. I just thought I'd run out of snacks to feature or get bored before I reached this point. Instead, I have developed opinions about my favorite grocery chains in the country of Georgia.

The spirit of unsnackable led me to spend far too much money ($9! a bag!) on the cherry-flavored confectionary chips that were a grocery store staple when I was growing up in Minnesota. Their buttery, saccharine fruitiness led me down the path of a festive birthday cake. It's a Cherry Dip Cone that won't melt, an ice cream cake without the ice cream.

buttermilk cherry chip cake, malted waffle cone crunch , aperol & cherry chip crème patissiere filling, waffle cone infused double vanilla swiss meringue buttercream

Even though it is my birthday week, I’m generous and got you a gift in the form of new unsnackables

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the unsnackables

sweet

KING'S POTONG SIGNATURE ONDE-ONDE (Singapore)

These geometric popsicles are a chilly matryoshka of flavor with a layer of pandan ice cream enveloping a layer of coconut-pandan ice cream and a liquid center of palm sugar to mimic the rice ball snack known as Onde Onde. These popsicles are a snack that would earn the respect of your tide pen for being a worthwhile mess. I'd similarly describe myself.

salty

日清のヒートテックどん兵衛 (Japan)

As soon as the weather drops below 45 degrees, I develop a symbiotic relationship with my Uniqlo Heat Tech. I wake up in the morning and put on my daytime Heat Tech; I get ready for bed and put on my bedtime Heat Tech. Why wouldn't I want my cup noodle to experience the same warmth and comfort? This Nissin x Uniqlo collaboration features pork & ginger soba finished with spicy ginger & shichimi pepper.

thirsty

CUPIDO DRINK (Italy)

Netflix indulges my need to consume teen-oriented TV and movies, and I lean on IMDb and Instagram to help me learn meaningless information about the young adults cast to play teenagers. After finishing the final season of BABY, I was delighted to find one lead in faux-repose wearing slim tailored joggers, Gucci slides, and a Dior bag. It was a staggering display of extremely Italian energy. That energy is matched by this drink from Verona touted as the "Official Drink of the house of Romeo and Juliet". Somehow each bottle holds 130% concentrated apple and grape juice.

boozy

VINO KULAFU( Philippines)

Kulafu is a comic book character and the Filipino answer to Tarzan. A company selling a medicinal Chinese wine bought the rights to the name in the 50s and the beverage has been sold ever since. Reviews seem to say it is enjoyed only by old men, but why wouldn’t I want to try the medicinal comic strip wine?

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unsnackableIRL

Kazouza Watermelon (Lebanon) - Watermelon is an incredibly challenging flavor for bottled beverages, it usually ends up tasting fake or like nothing at all. This was a revelation because it walked the line of "jolly rancher watermelon" and "perfectly ripe slice on a summer day" watermelon.

Vita Winter Honey and Lime (China)- A touch too floral, I wish there was some bitterness to balance out the sweetness.

Sakusaku Kakugiri Ringo (Japan)- There are tiny agar-agar jellies in this beverage meant to mimic fruit pulp that is so texturally enjoyable, but the apple juice itself isn't anything life-changing.

Kimino Mikan Water (Japan) - I paired this with an indulgent brunch on my birthday. It was a refreshing counterpoint to all the rich flavors.

duck pastrami benedict, roasted garlic& havarti biscuits, poached eggs, dijon hollandaise, fresh dill , scotch & lambrusco ny sour in the glass, mikan seltzer

I’m still figuring this out, but hopefully, you enjoyed v.20 of unsnackable.

If you didn’t please don’t tell me, tell your friends to subscribe because they hopefully have better taste than you.

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Think you’ll miss me before unsnackable v.21 comes to your inbox? follow me on other parts of the internet and tell me about what you’re snacking on or tell me which snack you’d turn into a birthday cake

I’ll try any snack at least once, so don’t be shy if there is something you want to send me to try.

I think there has been a lot more discussion about substack as a platform lately and I’ve considered shifting this newsletter to a paid subscription (because I do spend a lot of time researching snacks!) but I like sending something nice to your inboxes for free every week, so if you’d like to support my snack related endeavors ( or want to wish me happy belated birthday ) you can find me on venmo at thefolu or on paypal