vintage chip merch and rice cake trauma

unsnackable vol. 24

It is easy to spot when form is prioritized over function but can you recognize when each principle is held in equal regard?

Yes, I'm talking about one of the great triumphs of the '90s design, the Pringles Travel Containers. They bore the futuristic color palette of the decade (jewel tones, metallics, branded tie-ins) and protected the fragile salty treats. Your lunch bag was protected from chip rubble. But somehow a few chips always crumbled.

The chip holder came to mind this weekend when I busted out my new pie pan. Meticulously researched, only chosen after the pandemic, and a perfect pastry recipe led me away from a lifetime of pre-made pie crusts. I thought it'd make me a pie bitch.

So I par-baked a brown butter graham crust and spooned in a persimmon pineapple curd, topped it with a five-spice meringue, and whispered my dreams into that pie pan. And it almost worked. Look at this beautiful pie!

Breathtaking!

Unfortunately, the beauty was only skin deep because I forgot to set my oven timer and ruined the filling. Guess I still have some work to do before I ascend to pie bitch status.

In the meantime, let's take respite in new unsnackables

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the unsnackables

sweet

の松阪牛牛脂アイス (Japan)

Given my beef with the father of the blond bobbed queen of quarantine insta content's child, I find nothing but joy in discovering that this Japanese beef tallow ice cream is similar to the one used by a chef to beat him in Iron Chef. It also bears resemblance to dishes made by indigenous peoples in Alaska and the far east region of Russia.

savory

ориз нагоре кафяв ориз чипс хамон  (Bulgaria) 

As a child of the 90s, I can't tell you the last time I touched a rice cake because they remind me of the fragile detente I hold with food in defiance of everything modeled for me in my formative years. But Jamon Iberico flavored rice cakes might be enough of a reason to rethink the snack.

thirsty

MAUBY FIZZ (Trinidad and Tobago)

If a soda has the defining flavor profile of "sugar" I often appreciate it. But when a soda is known for having divisive bitterness, I'm forced to stan every time. Mauby bark has medicinal properties that are likely lost in the processing that leads to this beverage, but the enjoyment would still improve my life.

boozy

BOER’N YOGHURT LICOR 43( Netherlands)

It is a baffling mindset because I spend so much time thinking about the hyper-specific requirements of pastry, but whenever I read a cocktail recipe, I assume I can replace any listed ingredient with something else. Licor43 falls into the vague category of citrus liqueurs. It has a strong vanilla undertone that would taste great with yogurt, but you cannot convince me that Cointreau, Curacao, or Mandarine Napoleon wouldn't do the same.

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unsnackableIRL

Ba Wang Si Fruit Honey (China) - On friday morning when I was dancing around my apartment to a soundtrack of the extended edition of the Ariana Grande album, I knocked this off its perch on my bar cart and it shattered in an exact way to make it spout a pressurized spray across my apartment. I tried to salvage as much as possible and mostly failed until I realized I had to just shotgun the obscure the soda because the top of the bottle wouldn’t open (if you follow me on insta I posted a video because I have no shame). Anyway, it was good and somehow combines cream soda, cider soda and a generalized tutti-fruitti essence.

I’m still figuring this out, but hopefully, you enjoyed v.24 of unsnackable.

If you didn’t please don’t tell me, tell your friends to subscribe because they hopefully have better taste than you.

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Think you’ll miss me before unsnackable v.25 comes to your inbox? follow me on other parts of the internet and tell me about what you’re snacking on or tell me which snack you want a personalized protective case for

I’ll try any snack at least once, so don’t be shy if there is something you want to send me to try.

I think there has been a lot more discussion about substack as a platform lately and I’ve considered shifting this newsletter to a paid subscription (because I do spend a lot of time researching snacks!) but I like sending something nice to your inboxes for free every week, so if you’d like to support my snack related endeavors you can find me on venmo at thefolu or on paypal